Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
