"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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