I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize