Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
