THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
