She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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