Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
