OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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