would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
