The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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