tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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