Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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