my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
