Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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