I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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