Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize