I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
