Just cropdusted the office
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize