I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
