No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
