ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize