Porn is love you can see.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
