are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
