Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
