two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
