i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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