ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
