I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
