quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
