At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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