Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
