Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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