But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
