I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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