He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
