I think i peed on brittanys purse
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
