Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm at about main and main street
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
