My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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