I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize