mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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