If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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