my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
