is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
