we're blogging at a bar
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
