first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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