it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize