watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
