I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
