so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
