Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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