So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
