Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
