I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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