oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude i'm inner monologue high
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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