mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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