maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
