Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
