Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
