ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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