Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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