Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
