So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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