We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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