A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
