what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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