You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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